The next phase

BR just got a beautiful batik scarf from Gina in some of the new colors she is using. Makes a lovely IV pole drape!

I didn't get much sleep last night. BR was very restless, but it was a different kind of restless. I could tell he wasn't in pain. The doctor told us this morning that she is pretty sure he is experiencing "terminal delirium" during which he gets restless, has conversations with people who aren't there, and can even try to get out of bed. So we have moved on from treating his pain, to treating the physiological issues that cause the dying brain to be restless. He will continue to receive his pain medications, but they won't be adjusted going forward.

I asked the doctor if we should be encouraging him to "let go and pass on." She said that at this point, he is probably hearing what we are saying, recognizing the voices, but not necessarily catching the intended meaning. She recommended that we tell him we wish he wasn't going, but it is OK that he does. She also recommended giving specifics about how we are going to continue on once he is gone. Not just that I will continue my relationship and care for his mother, but that I will call her regularly and still celebrate holidays with her. Basically, we should put ourselves in his helpless position and imagine the things we would want to hear.

He has received a lot of voice messages from friends that I play for him each evening. With each voice that he hears, he seems to recognize the person speaking and to enjoy what they say. I feel the same way about the comments left here. Thank you!