Bobrobert's Memorial Service

When I woke up the day after BR's death, I put iTunes on shuffle and hit play, figuring that if I didn't like the song, I could always skip it. The first song it played was Barry Manilow's One Voice. BR often told me how much he loved this song. I tried to sing along, but kept falling apart with tears. I promised myself I would find a way to work it into the memorial service.

A few days later, I decided on two additional pre-recorded songs. The first was Sandi Patty singing Upon This Rock. One of BR's secret guilty pleasures was inspirational religious music, and Sandi Patty was one of his favorite artists.

If in a simple carpenter
You see the Son of God
If you would choose to lose
When you could win
If you would give your life away
For nothing in return
Then you are where
My kingdom will begin.

The second song was To Me, a duet by Lee Greenwood and Barbara Mandrell. I know, not the Barbra most of you were expecting. BR's friend Fran Kinman introduced him to this song long before I met him. While we were dating, it became clear that this was the kind of love he was looking for, and wasn't going to settle for less.

To me
You are the hand that I reach for
When I've lost my way

To me
You are the first star of evening
The sun that warms my day

Just as sure as
I'm sure there's a Heaven
This was meant to be

No road is too long
As long as you belong to me

To me
You are the truth I've been living
Girl, I believe in you

To me
You are the love I have looked for
My whole life through

Just as sure as
I'm sure there's a Heaven
This was meant to be

No road is too long
As long as you belong to me

Just as sure as
I'm sure there's a Heaven
This was meant to be

No road is too long
As long as you belong to me

Reverend Emile was lined up to do the service and scripture readings, and Gail and Mary Katherine to play the prelude and postlude organ and piano. And as the day of the service neared, I realized that I needed to deliver BR's eulogy myself. But no matter how hard I tried, the things I wrote just didn't do justice to the life we shared together. I decided to focus on how he was always able to build and maintain a circle of friends no matter where he was, and on how much he loved those friends. With my sister Cindy by my side for support, I spoke of the dinner parties on Martel Avenue, the ex-boyfriends, and the neighbors -- many of whom were present in the Gilliam United Methodist Church that Saturday.

If I had to pick a message to highlight from Bobrobert's life, it would be to hold the ones you love close and tight, and to never stop looking for people to love.

The service closed with One Voice. I sang the first verse solo.

Just one voice, singing in the darkness
All it takes is one voice
Singing so they hear what's on your mind
And when you look around you'll find

My family joined me for the second verse and bridge.

There's more than one voice
Singing in the darkness
Joining with your one voice
Each and every note another octave
Hands are joined and fears unlocked

If only one voice would start it on its own
We need just one voice, facing the unknown
And then that one voice would never be alone
It takes that one voice

Then we moved out into the congregation, hugging anyone who would have it. Standing in the aisles, we finished the song.

It takes that one voice
Just one voice, singing in the darkness
All it takes is one voice
Shout it out and let it ring
Just one voice, it takes that one voice
And everyone will sing

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure Finale

As the end of my birthday draws near, I have to admit that in the last 12 months, I've discovered the joy of Family Guy. I didn't think I would like it. But I did.

There has to be a better way to end this polluted stream of infantile guilty pleasures than a fart joke, but I can't think of one.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #13: Blonde Jokes

Stolen shamelessly from a friend's Facebook notes:

A vicar books into a hotel and says to the blonde receptionist,

"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."

"No," she says, "It's just regular porn... you sick bastard."

Feel free to donate your favorite in the comments.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #12: Train Wreck TV

I fell asleep one morning with the TV on. When I woke up, there was a large, mannish black woman on my screen heating a Slim Jim with a cigarette lighter. I've been hooked ever since.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #11: Artisanal Chocolates

With the demise of Joseph Schmidt Confections last year, I've been in the market for another artisanal chocolatier. So when the new tenant at the storefront on 16th street in San Francisco turned out to be Saratoga Chocolates, it piqued my curiosity. We asked our friend Jeanne to bring a box with her on her visit last week, and I have to say I'm really enjoying the variety of flavors packed into the box. The chocolates themselves are old-school sized -- not the giant rounded mountain that was the Joseph Schmidt truffle -- which is fine by me.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #10: Easter Chapeaux

Just like the Texas Bluebonnets, the Easter Chapeau party is a welcome sign that Spring has arrived.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #9: iPad Games

I got BR an iPad because he really likes his iPhone, but sometimes struggled with the small keyboard. With the optional case that keeps it from sliding all over his lap, the device seems to be a perfect fit.

Then I discovered the game apps. Up until now, I've only dabbled into a couple brain games for my Nintendo DSi. The iPad games are amazing in comparison. The big, bright, beautiful touch screen seems made for gaming.

I started out slowly, playing some games BR had purchased for his iPhone. Flick Fishing didn't play very well, but Skee Ball, Enigmo, and the Moron Test worked great in 2x mode.

Then BR's niece Abby suggested we try Tap Tap Radiation, a free app designed for the iPad. Think Dance Dance Revolution for couch potatoes. The music is fantastic, and the higher levels are very challenging. Even BR enjoys tapping to the beat.

I then took a chance on a for-pay app called Flight Control HD. I think I spent five hours playing it that first night. A perfect game for someone who is used to keeping a lot of plates spinning.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #8: FarmVille

This one is really embarrassing. BR's mama is so farm-proud. Her Facebook profile is filled with "I fertilized this" and "I found these eggs." My initial reaction was, what do you get out of it? Produce? Money? Prestige? Notoriety? The last two seem to be the primary motivators.

BR started a farm, but it soon became clear that he wouldn't be able to keep up with it on his own. Crops wilted. Gifts languished unopened. I reluctantly offered to check on it a couple times a day to help keep it moving forward. Big mistake. My name is steve, and I play FarmVille.

Our big thing is to delete everything from time to time and completely rebuild from scratch. The feeling of a virtual purge is very therapeutic.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #7: The Simpsons

20 years and they still make me laugh. Who hasn't had this argument with their spouse?

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #6: Tacky T-Shirts

Austin's 6th Street provides many opportunities to purchase t-shirts which appear innocent, yet have an off-color hidden message.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #5: Alphabeat

I saw Alphabeat last month at the South by Southwest Music Conference here in Austin. It's got a good beat and it's easy to dance to.

[there may be an initial commercial]



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2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #4: Drunk History

This is what happens when you get a person drunk and ask them to explain an historical event.

Drunk History vol. 2 - Featuring Jack Black from Jack Black

Drunk History vol. 2.5 - Featuring Jack Black from Jack Black

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #3: Angry Lesbian Poetry

From the BBC, I present Rosie Lugosi, the Lesbian Vampire Queen performing her poem "Angry."

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #2: South Park

South Park is back again for another appearance this year. In this clip, Cartman has turned to crime to get his KFC fix, while the men of South Park have given themselves testicular cancer to gain access to medicinal marijuana.

2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #1: Mutha Chucka

We kick off this year's birthday celebration of guilty pleasures with my favorite drag queen that I know in real life, Mutha Chucka. Here she is performing Kate Miller-Heidke's Are You F@#ing Kidding Me? (Facebook Song).

More YouTube videos of Mutha Chucka here.
[EDIT 2016] OK. That video is gone. Here's a live performance from Kate herself.

It's coming ...

WARNING: At the stroke of midnight (UTC-5), this blog will be taken over by 24 hours of political incorrectness, embarrassing admissions, and decadent indulgences. Please do not adjust the vertical. Please do not adjust the horizontal. Please protect the children.

Thanksgiving Guilty Pleasure: White Castle Stuffing

OK. I've never tried it. But I do love White Castle hamburgers. My sister Karen and her husband Pete sent 16 burgers on dry ice from Illinois last week for our enjoyment (there aren't any White Castle's in Austin). Mmmmm.

So here's the recipe, which is copied from White Castle Shares Turkey Stuffing Recipe:

10 White Castle hamburgers, pickle removed
1-1/2 cups diced celery
1-1/4 teaspoon each ground thyme and ground sage
1-1/2 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1/4 cup chicken broth

Tear burgers into small pieces and place in a large mixing
bowl. Add celery and seasonings. Toss and add chicken broth.
Toss well. Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting. Makes
about 9 cups, enough for a 10 - 12 lb. turkey. Note: Allow
one White Castle hamburger for each pound of turkey, which will
be the equivalent of 3/4 cup of stuffing per pound.

To be or not to be a vampire

BR just finished watching An Interview with the Vampire. Now he's out back smoking a cigarette and waiting for Lestat. Is Vampirism his last and best hope for a cure?

I'm coming out of my funk. BR's needs are more than usual, but not more than Jordan can handle for a week, and I need a break, so I'm going to California on Sunday. I'll just check-in every evening to see what the trends are, and let the neighbors know they may be called in for backup should something go wrong.

The hip MRI was uneventful. The technician said the results will be ready tomorrow.

And to prove that I'm feeling better, here's a little clip from the 2010 Desperate Divas competition.

Guilty Pleasure: PooTrap

As Seen on TV!

Guilty Pleasure: Tatie Danielle

I fell in love with this dark French comedy back in the early 90s. It's the story of an elderly woman who manages to kill her caregiver, and moves in with her nephew's family in Paris. The more people try to make her happy, the meaner she is to them.



Loose translation:

Nephew: I don't think you'll be capable of keeping Tatie in July. You will come with me to Greece.

Niece: But what about Tatie?

Nephew: I'll make arrangements for her. I think I made a mistake taking her in. I want to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret.

Niece: Of course.

Nephew: I think she's mean.

Niece: (gasps) You're right. She is mean.