As the end of my birthday draws near, I have to admit that in the last 12 months, I've discovered the joy of Family Guy. I didn't think I would like it. But I did.
There has to be a better way to end this polluted stream of infantile guilty pleasures than a fart joke, but I can't think of one.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, April 8, 2010
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #13: Blonde Jokes
Stolen shamelessly from a friend's Facebook notes:
A vicar books into a hotel and says to the blonde receptionist,Feel free to donate your favorite in the comments.
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she says, "It's just regular porn... you sick bastard."
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #12: Train Wreck TV
I fell asleep one morning with the TV on. When I woke up, there was a large, mannish black woman on my screen heating a Slim Jim with a cigarette lighter. I've been hooked ever since.
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #7: The Simpsons
20 years and they still make me laugh. Who hasn't had this argument with their spouse?
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #6: Tacky T-Shirts
Austin's 6th Street provides many opportunities to purchase t-shirts which appear innocent, yet have an off-color hidden message.
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #4: Drunk History
This is what happens when you get a person drunk and ask them to explain an historical event.
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #2: South Park
South Park is back again for another appearance this year. In this clip, Cartman has turned to crime to get his KFC fix, while the men of South Park have given themselves testicular cancer to gain access to medicinal marijuana.
2010 Birthday Guilty Pleasure #1: Mutha Chucka
We kick off this year's birthday celebration of guilty pleasures with my favorite drag queen that I know in real life, Mutha Chucka. Here she is performing Kate Miller-Heidke's Are You F@#ing Kidding Me? (Facebook Song).
More YouTube videos of Mutha Chucka here.
[EDIT 2016] OK. That video is gone. Here's a live performance from Kate herself.
More YouTube videos of Mutha Chucka here.
[EDIT 2016] OK. That video is gone. Here's a live performance from Kate herself.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
We are uncles yet again!
This time it's figurative. Another neighborhood couple just had their first baby, a beautiful little girl named Josephine. We've made up another batch of custom onesies to welcome her to the neighborhood.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The crown didn't fit
I took BR to the dentist today to have a temporary crown replaced with a permanent one. BR always takes a "happy pill" (1mg Ativan) before dental work. Today he took three. In addition to the intended effect, it also left him unfit to drive his iBOT and hallucinating.
Now the dentist has a monitor next to the chair that, when not being used for official business, shows relaxing nature videos. One of the videos is of mountaineers climbing Mount Everest. BR became confused and thought it was live video of the inside of his mouth. He insisted that care be taken not to harm the men crawling around in there.
After putting the new crown in place, the dentist took an x-ray to verify the fit. It showed a gap between the teeth that he felt was too large. He took out the crown and started poking around with one of his dental hooks. BR got wide-eyed, and demanded that the dentist stop hurting him with that unsanitary tool. I swear he was possessed with the spirit of Ignatius J. Reilly. No amount of reassurance from the dentist in his sanitation practices would convince BR to readmit the hook.
Long story short, the dentist took another mold of the tooth, and temporarily installed the malfitting crown. We'll find out tomorrow when the replacement crown will be ready.
Now the dentist has a monitor next to the chair that, when not being used for official business, shows relaxing nature videos. One of the videos is of mountaineers climbing Mount Everest. BR became confused and thought it was live video of the inside of his mouth. He insisted that care be taken not to harm the men crawling around in there.
After putting the new crown in place, the dentist took an x-ray to verify the fit. It showed a gap between the teeth that he felt was too large. He took out the crown and started poking around with one of his dental hooks. BR got wide-eyed, and demanded that the dentist stop hurting him with that unsanitary tool. I swear he was possessed with the spirit of Ignatius J. Reilly. No amount of reassurance from the dentist in his sanitation practices would convince BR to readmit the hook.
Long story short, the dentist took another mold of the tooth, and temporarily installed the malfitting crown. We'll find out tomorrow when the replacement crown will be ready.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
BR reenacts a scene from Sixteen Candles
The doctor has put BR on high dosage vitamin D for two months after blood work showed he was about a quart low. He also had a bone density test this morning.
Bed rest seems to have helped the fracture pain some, but he still seems to be fighting an infection, as his skin is on fire.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Halloween
"Those damn Halloween pranksters."
"Wearing her heart on her cheek."
"You're not fooling anyone with that halo."
"Pardon me, Princess."
"Chicken meets Monkey. Film at 11."
"Don't encourage her."
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Birth of Bladderman
Contemplating a life full of catheters and urological problems, BR makes a dramatic decision...
He wants the ultimate urinary tract.
One impervious to all foreign contaminants.
One that knows when to hold 'em. Knows when to fold 'em.
Knows when to take a pee, and never runs.
A technician loads BR into the Urodynamo, and makes the necessary preparations.
With the push of a button, the transformation begins.
To be continued ...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I'd like to see the clinical trial data on this one
Photo and Gimp Editing: steve
BR seems a bit dubious of the latest advances in MS treatment.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Guilty Pleasure: Tatie Danielle
I fell in love with this dark French comedy back in the early 90s. It's the story of an elderly woman who manages to kill her caregiver, and moves in with her nephew's family in Paris. The more people try to make her happy, the meaner she is to them.
Loose translation:
Nephew: I don't think you'll be capable of keeping Tatie in July. You will come with me to Greece.
Niece: But what about Tatie?
Nephew: I'll make arrangements for her. I think I made a mistake taking her in. I want to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret.
Niece: Of course.
Nephew: I think she's mean.
Niece: (gasps) You're right. She is mean.
Loose translation:
Nephew: I don't think you'll be capable of keeping Tatie in July. You will come with me to Greece.
Niece: But what about Tatie?
Nephew: I'll make arrangements for her. I think I made a mistake taking her in. I want to tell you something, but you have to keep it a secret.
Niece: Of course.
Nephew: I think she's mean.
Niece: (gasps) You're right. She is mean.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Eureka! Area Man Discovers Potential Breakthrough in Suprapubic Catheter Management
AUSTIN, TX -- Steve, after struggling for months to find a solution to Bobrobert's clogged catheters, has discovered a simple technique which he believes will keep the Yellow River from breaching its levees.
"You see, about 10 days after a tube change, the new one just seems to stop working. But I noticed that when BR's legs are stretched, the flow starts back up again for a short period."
It was during one such stretching session that the idea finally hit him.
"What if I tape the tube to alternating legs each day? That should change up the angle that the catheter rests against the bladder wall."
Steve hopes that in regularly changing the catheter angle, bacteria will have less of a chance to build a dam of sediment around the tube openings.
Bobrobert is all for giving it a try. "Hell. I'd chew off my right foot if I thought it might get me out of these diapers."
After the first day on the opposite leg, the tube has been flowing well. Says Steve, "One more day of dry, and BR's wish will be granted."
"You see, about 10 days after a tube change, the new one just seems to stop working. But I noticed that when BR's legs are stretched, the flow starts back up again for a short period."
It was during one such stretching session that the idea finally hit him.
"What if I tape the tube to alternating legs each day? That should change up the angle that the catheter rests against the bladder wall."
Steve hopes that in regularly changing the catheter angle, bacteria will have less of a chance to build a dam of sediment around the tube openings.
Bobrobert is all for giving it a try. "Hell. I'd chew off my right foot if I thought it might get me out of these diapers."
After the first day on the opposite leg, the tube has been flowing well. Says Steve, "One more day of dry, and BR's wish will be granted."
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sights and Sounds of Bourbon Street
BR and I took a road trip to New Orleans this past weekend for the Jazz and Heritage Festival. We met up with our friends Jeanne and Greg from Oakland, as well as the Louisiana crew.
This was BR's first trip to New Orleans in a wheelchair. On the whole, things went well. We arrived at 4am on Friday looking a bit like the Beverly Hillbillies after being on the road for 10 hours. The room at the Iberville Suites had just enough space to accommodate the hospital bed and wheelchair.
The streets and sidewalks of the French Quarter have never been known as consistent. Potholes, missing sections of bricks, and general unevenness make navigating in a wheelchair quite the adventure. We shot a video while walking down Bourbon Street this past Saturday evening to give you a feel.
This was BR's first trip to New Orleans in a wheelchair. On the whole, things went well. We arrived at 4am on Friday looking a bit like the Beverly Hillbillies after being on the road for 10 hours. The room at the Iberville Suites had just enough space to accommodate the hospital bed and wheelchair.
The streets and sidewalks of the French Quarter have never been known as consistent. Potholes, missing sections of bricks, and general unevenness make navigating in a wheelchair quite the adventure. We shot a video while walking down Bourbon Street this past Saturday evening to give you a feel.
Noted Bloggers Break Award Chain in Protest over Digital Divide
AUSTIN (BS) -- BR and Steve returned from an exhausting weekend in New Orleans to discover they had been given the Kreativ Blogger award by their dear online friend, Herrad.
"Is this some kind of joke?" Steve asked. "I mean Herrad is very well traveled and reads lots of blogs. The stuff we put out there can't possibly be all that kreativ in comparison."
"I didn't even know we were nominated," BR said while eating a cookie left over from the trip.
In their acceptance speech, Steve and BR dedicated the award to all the kreativ people living with MS who don't have the means to blog.
"There are millions of kreativ voices out there yearning to be heard. Yet they remain silent as the gap between the 'haves' and the 'have nots' grows. We cannot, in good conscience, pass this award on until our offline brothers and sisters are allowed to step up to the microphone!"
"Is this some kind of joke?" Steve asked. "I mean Herrad is very well traveled and reads lots of blogs. The stuff we put out there can't possibly be all that kreativ in comparison."
"I didn't even know we were nominated," BR said while eating a cookie left over from the trip.
In their acceptance speech, Steve and BR dedicated the award to all the kreativ people living with MS who don't have the means to blog.
"There are millions of kreativ voices out there yearning to be heard. Yet they remain silent as the gap between the 'haves' and the 'have nots' grows. We cannot, in good conscience, pass this award on until our offline brothers and sisters are allowed to step up to the microphone!"
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Funny vs. MS
I just noticed that yesterday's binge allowed "funny" to pass "MS" in the post counts over there on the left. I hope we can maintain that balance in a more meaningful way going forward.
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