Saturday, April 17, 2010

Soul crushingly painful decisions

Sitting alone in my living room, listening to a spring thunderstorm. BR has always loved thunderstorms. It has been raining most of the past few days. I'm not the only one crying.

The combination of Ativan and Methadone has BR resting comfortably once again. In consultation with his mother and brother, I have decided to discontinue the antibiotics. This beautiful, charming, light soul doesn't deserve to be weighed down any longer by a body that has betrayed him. It's so hard to take myself out of a decision like this. But when I do, I know that he has been looking for an escape from his body for a while now, and I can't deny him this chance.

Benny, come take your Bobrobert by the hand and show him where to get a good, stiff drink.

16 comments:

Stephany said...

Rest, in the arms of angels.

kmilyun said...

Steve: HUGS!!!
BobRobert: Prayers, Spirit, Peace ...

Lisa Emrich said...

My thoughts are with you both. May peace come quickly

Richie said...

All my love goes to you both.
I am so sorry that it has come to this point. I wish you both some kind of peace. I have got to care about you both from following your story. You are two beautiful men.
I am so glad for you that you share such a love.

Herrad said...

Hello Steve,
Really upset reading your last two posts and now this one.
Horrible lonely decision for you to make.
Please tell BR if you can that I love him feel he is my friend & brother, alnd you too..
Thinking of you both with lots of love.
Big hugs.
Love,
Herrad

Hayward said...

A great big hug to you both.

Cranky said...

Steve - sorry for the troubles for both of you.

Cindy said...

Peace and love to you both. Please give BR a kiss for me.

zoomdoggies said...

Strength, peace, and solace.

JC said...

May both of you be at Peace

Borepatch said...

I'm here via Stephany's place.

I'm so sorry to see this. It's such a pitifully small thing to say, but I hope you can both find peace.

I don't know you, but I hope that when it's my time to pass through that gate, I have someone like you with me at the end.

ρομπερτ said...

Reaching you from Herrad's site, wishing you to take all the strength I call me own.

Webster said...

I too, am here via Herrad's site. May God grant you the strength you will surely need, and grant BobRobert a speedy and peaceful departure.
Be well.

mortonlake said...

im so sorry.and one day,may be me.may he find peace.my deepest sympathies to you.mort

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Steve:)

I'm coming from Herrad's blog.

I am extremely sorry to read about BR. I will pray for both of you. May God give you both solace and peace.
Joseph

Nat said...

Just arrived via Herrad's blog. Love and prayers for you both
Nat