Tuesday, April 27, 2010

I get by with a little help from my friends

I wasn't there.

I had come home to shower and meet the housekeeper, and was getting ready to walk out the door when Chad and David came in and told me that BR had passed. I think he didn't want me to see it happen.

They drove Jordan and me back to Christopher House, where I was able to say my final goodbye to the body that loved, protected, and supported me for so many years. In his final moments, he was surrounded by people he loved, and I will be forever grateful to them for that. We packed up our stuff, and with one final sniff, we left it behind.

There is no way to fully describe how my friends and neighbors came together to give BR a transit night like no other. The days that followed have been full of laughter, tears, memories, food, and OCG (obsessive-compulsive gardening).

Today, the arrival of my sister Terri and her daughter Hope will mark the beginning of the run up to the memorial service on Saturday. I've started to pick out the music. Beth and Dede are coordinating the celebration that will follow. People who loved BR will be traveling from far and wide to Belcher to share their grief and memories.

It's the sharing of BR stories that is sustaining me right now. Most I've heard. Some are brand new to me. He's touched so many lives.


Nancy said...

It often happens that way - just when you leave they pass. I've heard that over and over and it was my experience with my father. I've been enjoying the pictures. It looks like a life lived full of love and laughter. Does it get any better than that?

Herrad said...

Hello Steve,
Thinking of you lots and lots.
Big hugs

Have Myelin? said...

Even now I crave to hear other people talk about my daughter. Those are the things that sustain me during the dark days. Memories, photos, and the love.

Thinking of you.

Stephany said...

The photo gallery is wonderful, and I hope you continue to draw joy and happiness from those around you, and the memories fun times stories that will live on forever with you.

Again, I am truly sorry you have lost your soul mate in this world.

*Ellen* said...

Namaste Steve,
You don't know me, but Herrad wrote me about you and Bobrobert.
Your story is beautiful, and ofcourse now also painful.
Find peace in the knowledge that a compassionate soul has unfolded his wings and has risen above this mortal, fysical excistence, to be truly free.
He will not be gone though, just in another form.
I truly believe this.

My eyes fill with tears at the mere thought of your loss and pain, because I to know about loss.
Therefore it resonates in my being.

However, when I read about the warmth & love you recieve from your loved ones, I know you'll be alright ... in time.

There is not much to say for me here.
Just Namaste; I bow to the divine in you ..


Travelogue for the Universe said...

Wishing you peace and hope you get lots of rest, eat well and grieve just as long as you must. You are special people.Mary Gerdt(friend of Herrad)

B ILL said...

S, You know they say people wait to die until they hear someone they are waiting on to say goodbye...well, once we called and ordered the tents and prepared for the Memorial Party Wake (while BR was still alive) he then died peacefully a few hours later. Hmmm, I think that was the wait. Now we need to celebrate his life as he would have wished:)

Diane J Standiford said...

I love the photo gallery you have on the blog. A life with love, friends, well lived...can any of us ask for more? He will never be far from you.

Richie said...

We will be joining you all in spirit if not in Belcher. I'm sure you will do BR proud. Lots of love to you.

Marie said...

Steve, I am so sorry for your loss. I read about Bobrobert at Herrad's blog.

Sometimes the bond we have with our loved ones is so strong they can't bear to leave when we are there. The love between you must have been incredibly powerful.

I wish you peace in the coming days and months.