Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Jealous Friend Seeks to One-Up Ill Man

SLIDELL, LA (BS) — Gina, long harboring jealousy over the attention Bobrobert has been getting since his MS diagnosis, has finally gotten a diagnosis of her own.

"When I noticed numbness on my left side, I didn't want to get too excited. Then it progressed into weakness, and I knew I really had something here."

A visit to the neurologist, and an MRI scan of her cervical spine confirmed her suspicions.

"There was this blob at the base of my brain," Gina said, barely able to contain her excitement. "When the doctor said it was a meningioma, I didn't know what that was, but I knew I had to tell Bobrobert right away."

According to the Mayo Clinic, "Meningioma is a tumor that arises from the meninges — the membranes that surround your brain and spinal cord. The majority of meningioma cases are noncancerous (benign), though rarely a meningioma can be cancerous (malignant). Even if a meningioma is benign, it isn't harmless. A meningioma can press on the brain and spinal cord, causing complications such as vision loss or paralysis."

Bobrobert, reached for comment at his Austin home, isn't impressed. "It's probably completely operable and benign. I told her to call me when she's in a wheelchair."

Bobrobert's partner, Steve, was unavailable for comment. People close to the couple report that they are actually heartbroken by the news, and are coping by making inappropriate and tasteless jokes.

"I knew it!", Gina exclaimed when told.


Herrad said...

Hi Steve, Hi BoRobert,

What shitty news about your lovely friend Gina.

Under the circumstances I think inappropriate and tasteless jokes help.

In fact are absolutely needed.

Hope that the tumour can be removed without to much risk to the lovely Gina.

Keep warm and cheerful, laughter is good for you.



Inappropriate and tasteless jokes are completely appropriate when talking brain tumor, benign or otherwise.

Sometimes one-upmanship goes a little too far. Will be thinking of your friend Gina.

Richie said...

I will be thinking of you all, specially Gina.

When life makes its sick jokes on us all we can do is hit back with the same.
Keep kicking against the pricks
As you did not have the advantage of a Cockney Ma:
lesson in Cockney rhyming slang

Whistle and flute: suit.("Nice whistle; are you in court?")
Plates of meat: Feet ("Get yer dirty plates off the furniture")
Donald Duck : fu... ny I cant think what it is now.

Kim said...

I couldn't agree more with Herrad, including the fact that you are loved :-)

B ILL said...

Gina needs to get off her butt and make me a fabulous Batik. Only to be outdone by "Bob Is picking his paint brushes" painting for his wonderful loving cousin. Really, if you think about it, probably the best cousin anyone could have.

awb said...

Inappropriate and tasteless humor is what keeps me going. When I was still able to do so I would play in golf tournaments with the guys I worked with. They never missed a chance to all point in unison, at me, when the tournament director would ask what our handicap was! Sorry to hear of your friends situation guys.