I'll admit it. I'm addicted to his full-body laugh. Not that patronizing one I get when I say something incredibly witty that he didn't really hear but he saw the expectant look on my face and threw me a bone. No, I'm talking about the laugh that only comes when I get it, and he gets it, and we know how stupid it is, so we do it again. And we still get it. And we laugh until we can't breathe and tears are running down our faces.
These days, that kind of laughter has been in short supply. Since the failed intrathecal pump trial, his pain is a guest that insists on hearing every word I say, then analyzes what a poor joke I'm making. In the end, my jokes have the opposite of the desired effect.
And all this while he is taking enough opioids to kill most men. Jack Osbourne would be paying me to tell jokes half as funny.
So like most good addicts whose supply has dried up, I've found alternatives. I'm blogging more and hanging on every comment. I'm being hypercritical of the American Idol contestants. Hell, I'm being hypercritical of everything, including myself.
And then tonight I got a fix. I put BR to bed and set him up on his side to ward off bedsores. He wanted some water before I changed the pain patches, so I grabbed the mug and made some stupid comment. And he started laughing. And he didn't stop. And I laughed. And we laughed. And we stopped. And we laughed again just as hard. Oh God, it's better than sex!
When we lived in California, the laughter came a lot easier. So much has changed since then, not the least of which is the loss of medicinal marijuana. You can take your Marinol and shove it, Texas. It is not a replacement for good, old fashioned, American grown, God created, pain relieving, appetite increasing, mood elevating pot! By criminalizing such an effective drug with centuries of recorded safe usage, you are condemning BR to be a guinea pig for the pharmaceutical and implant industry.
I invite every politician that has ever opposed the medicinal use of marijuana to come and care for BR for a month. In fact, I insist!